Friday, May 25, 2007

How to make Australians rich

In seven easy steps...

One, have three confirmed cases of bovine spongiform encephelopathy (BSE) in your country's total cattle population of 100 million.

Two, refuse to kowtow to the regulations of a country that has had confirmed 32 cases of BSE out of a total cattle population of 2.5 million--because by any sane statistical measure, eating your country's beef would be safer.

Three, ignore the fact that one of your main competitors in the international beef market, a sunny land to the south of the Japanese islands called Australia, has had nary a single case of BSE in its bovids.

Four, watch said Australians become the import market, giving them pricing power and the ability to sell everything they've got that lows. Watch Aussies waltz in the sun all the way to the fair dinkum bank.

Relative shares of Japan import beef market
Dark line = U.S.
Light line = Australia

Courtesy: Yomiuri Shimbun
May 24, 2007, morning edition

Five, blame Japanese bureaucrats for being short-sighted and protectionist.

Six, tell President to feed visiting Japanese prime minister hamburgers until he caves.

Seven, repeat steps Five and Six, ad nauseum. Do not be surprised at their continued ineffectiveness.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

One more step: After you agree to terms and conditions with the Japanese government, allow your front-line workers to keep breaking the rules by mislabeling packages bound for export. That's sure to help your credibility and the perception of your competence!

Oz went though this in the 70s and seems to have learned their lessons...