Friday, December 19, 2008

Strict, Benevolent Yet Clueless Patriarchy for Dummies

Why does this magazine exist?

All right--I know why President Family exists: into order to give helpful hints and suggestions to executives who, after they have finished reading the latest edition of President magazine, realize from the evidence (small shoes and school satchels in the genkan, annoying high-pitched voices) that at some point in the past they procreated, which means they are required to go and put on sweater in order to be the "Daddy!" or "Pops!" (exclamation points mandatory) of what will be utterly perfect future taxpayers.

Look up, you pretenders to upper class values and lifestyles! Herein lies relief from the collision between economic reality and pretension!

In a February special issue (not particularly special, as every month of President Family is about educating the child--as if that were 100% of family life) will be page after page of advice on dealing with "The Costs of Education and the Wife's Worries" (Kyōikuhi to tsuma no shinpai).

Some titles of noteworthy chapters:

"The wife, wanting to enroll the child in a private school, wishes to engage a private tutor. Should you try to stop her?"

"The husband is a tightwad and the wife is a spendthrift. What should they do now?"

"Soccer, English, piano...how far should the child be pushed?"

"You have maxed yourself out putting your child in a private school. What additional costs should you be worrying about?"

"You want to tap the wife's parents for the education costs but dare not open your mouth. What should you do?"

Oh, ick. Ick, ick, ick.

Who would be caught dead reading this stuff?


Later - President Family began publication in September 2006. Consider this an "education in transition" post.

1 comment:

Janne Morén said...

With all the conflicting pressures, responsibilities and economic duties, impossible to fulfill with the limited time and unstable, unreliable employment, here's an idea: don't have a family. It's monumental pain and impossible pressure far beyond any transient joy from seeing your children for about half an hour a week and having them wonder who that old stranger is.

And people seem to be heeding that advice too.